i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
