I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize