why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
well you can't waste a boner
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
