my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
