My hair reeks of homosexuality.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So squirting runs in the family.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
