In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
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Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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