Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize