whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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