Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
