I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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