Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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