I'm gonna have a badass scar
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
