i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Damn victory sex feels great
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
