You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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