garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Kiss
Puke
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
