what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I party with great urgency now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
