plz talk dirty to me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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