Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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