then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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