Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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