i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
