Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
