When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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