party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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