you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
