You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
