garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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