My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
