im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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