but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
