I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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