Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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