we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Let's paint friendship bongs
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
