Sry I called you an 8
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
