You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
