well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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