names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
