Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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