He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
