just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
