Michael Bay diarrhea
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize