I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
