I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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