If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
