I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
