We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
