I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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