I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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