does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
