Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
