I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
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I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
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Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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