I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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