well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
