Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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