And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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