I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
