I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize