the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
