based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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